Originally posted on September 18, 2018 (edited 9/18/2021)

“Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves; do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others.” Philippians 2:3-4 NASB

The Lord is having me focus on just these two verses today, and he is taking the application of these verses today in a very specific direction, which then parallels over to the story of David and Bathsheba (read 2 Samuel 11-12).

David was God’s chosen king of Israel. And he was a mighty warrior of God. But, he was also human, and at one period in his life, he sinned greatly against God, and other people, too. For, while his servant soldiers were out fighting in battle against the enemy, he remained back home, and it was then that he was tempted. And he gave into the temptation.

He lusted after a married woman, and then he exercised abuse of power to bring the woman to him so that he could sleep with her. She became pregnant, and in order to cover up his sin with her, he sent for her husband, who was one of his servants, to try to get him to lay with his wife, but he would not. For, he was a man of integrity and did not feel he should have the comforts of being with his wife while his fellow servants were still in battle.

So, then David got Uriah (Bathsheba’s husband) drunk, so that he would go sleep with his wife, but he still would not go. So, next David plotted Uriah’s death. And Uriah was murdered at David’s command. Then, Bathsheba mourned the death of her husband, but when the time of mourning was over, David took her to be his wife and she bore him a son. “But the thing that David had done was evil in the sight of the Lord” (2 Sam. 11:27b).

In the Sight of The Lord

I am going to focus particularly on men today, but this is not to say that women don’t deal with the same issues. They do, just not in as great of numbers as men. But also the Lord is having me address men in this because they are the leaders of households and the leaders of churches, and so I believe he has a specific message for them that he wants me to convey to them today.

Also, I believe I am the chosen messenger today to bring this message to them, because so many men today who claim to be Christians have emasculated themselves by making the lusts of their flesh their gods. And, thus, they are not doing the work of the Lord that they should be doing as leaders in the church and in the home, for they are busy following their lusts, instead.

Men, God has called you to be spiritual leaders, much like he called David to be king over his people at that time. He has given you the responsibility to lead your families and your church congregations in the way of the Lord, which is the way of holiness, honesty, integrity, purity, morality, and righteousness. He has called you to be his servants, to humble yourselves, and to lead those under your care by your example; by how you live your life, especially when no one else sees what you are doing.

But many of you have chosen the way that David took. You have shirked your responsibilities and have left those under your care with the burden of having to do what you should be doing. I believe that is one of the reasons God is using me, a woman, in the way that he is, mainly because the men who should be doing this are not doing it, because they are busy looking at porn, or watching sexually charged movies, or they are busy with their games and their sports or with their careers while God and their spouses and their children and their congregations are neglected.

But it is not just that you are neglecting your spouses and your children and your church congregations, but that you are treating them like David treated Uriah, his servant, most especially your wives. For many women are being betrayed by their husbands’ addictions to porn, movies, games, sports, and extra-marital affairs (romantic or sexual), and the like.

And, in God’s eyes, lust alone is adultery. And, doing so to your wives, especially over long periods of time, and then lying about it and covering up your sins, is hate, not love, and God says that hate is the same as murder. So, you are murdering your wives by your adulterous ways, and you are murdering your children and your church congregations, too, for not only are you engaging in what is evil in God’s sight, but you are influencing others to do the same.

Nathan and David

Nathan was a prophet of God, and it was his calling to be God’s messenger in taking God’s messages to whomever God wanted to speak. So, God sent Nathan to speak with David about his sin. But, instead of confronting him directly with his sin, he told him a story, which David thought to be something that was really happening, instead of a parable.

“Then the Lord sent Nathan to David. And he came to him and said,

“’There were two men in a city, the one wealthy and the other poor.
The wealthy man had a great many flocks and herds.
But the poor man had nothing at all except one little ewe lamb
Which he bought and nurtured;
And it grew up together with him and his children.
It would eat scraps from him and drink from his cup and lie in his lap,
And was like a daughter to him.
Now a visitor came to the wealthy man,
And he could not bring himself to take any animal from his own flock or his own herd,
To prepare for the traveler who had come to him;
So he took the poor man’s ewe lamb and prepared it for the man who had come to him.’” 2 Samuel 12:1-4 NASB

David was enraged when he heard this. He proclaimed that the man who did this deserved to die and that he “must make restitution for the lamb fourfold, because he did this thing and had no compassion” (v. 6). But, then Nathan said to David, “You are the man!”

How many times have you gotten angry over things that others did and yet failed to see that you not only are doing the same things but that what you are doing is far worse? The Bible warns against such judging as this, which is hypocritical judging which looks at the speck in others’ eyes while it ignores the log in one’s own eye. We all need to be so careful that we don’t judge hypocritically by getting angry about what others do while we may be doing something much worse.

Nathan then spoke the words of God to David. He reminded him of all that he had done for David and all the many ways in which he had blessed him. And so he asked him why he despised the Word of the Lord by doing evil in His sight. And he enumerated all the ways in which David had sinned in secret against God and against other humans. And, then he told him that, though his sin had been done in secret, God was going to judge him before all Israel, out where everyone could see.

When David was confronted with the fact that he was the man in the parable, he was cut to the heart, and he confessed that he had sinned against God. And Nathan then assured David that God had forgiven him, but still there were going to be natural consequences for his sin, one of which was that his child would die.

You Did in Secret

Sexual sin is usually done in secret. Men (and women, too) watch porn usually when they think no one else can see what they are doing. But, God always sees, and it matters to him what we do. It matters to your spouse what you do, too, although some of you may think it is “no big deal.” But, it is, because you are living in adultery against your spouse when you practice lust and view porn and watch movies with sex in them, et al.

But, again, it is not merely adultery, for it is hate, not love, and hate is the same as murder. For when you lust after others (or yourself) and you view porn or any other sexual material, or when you self-gratify, or when you have private chats with someone of interest, or you are involved in sex-texting, or you slander your spouse in order to cover your sin, or you manipulate, lie, deceive, bully, etc. in order to cover your sin, you are murdering your spouse in your heart, and you are putting your marriage to death.

And, if you think your spouse does not know, don’t be so sure of that. Any woman who loves her husband, and who knows her husband, and is tuned in, can tell when things are not right. And she should, if she is tuned in, know when you are lying, too. So, don’t think you are not hurting your spouse if you keep your sins a secret. You are still hurting her and your marriage and your family whether you see the damage you are doing or not.

So, God wants you to see your sin through his eyes today, for many of you are in the habit of excusing these sins away and justifying them, and thus you lie to yourselves, and you believe your own lies. So, the Lord wants to open your eyes today to the truth of what you are doing so that you will repent of your sin.

But know that you may have to face some natural consequences to your sin. Yet, God is calling you today to come forward and to be honest with your spouse about how you have been secretly sinning against her, for the truth will set you free.

Encouragement for the Wives

But, to the wives of the men who are addicted to lust or who regularly practice sins of lust against their wives and their marriages, I want to encourage you.

Forgive your spouse of his sins against you, but not in a way that gives him permission to keep sinning against you. Set biblical boundaries for your marriage relationship, and let your spouse know that you love him, and that you care about him, and that you are there to help him to victory over his sin if he will let you inside and not shut you out.

And, then trust God to work in his heart and life. Then speak the truth in love to him when God says to speak, for you may be the only voice of reason he will ever hear.

The Lord also wants to encourage you to make HIM your husband and your desire, and to let him satisfy the deep longings of your soul. He wants you to come to him with your suffering and to trust in his love and in his grace. Believe in his sovereignty over your life, and then let him heal your wounded heart.

[The same can be applied if the wife is the adulteress and the husband is the one being sinned against. Just replace “him” with “her.”]

Open The Eyes Of My Heart

By Paul Joseph Baloche

Open the eyes of my heart, Lord
Open the eyes of my heart
I want to see You
I want to see You

To see You high and lifted up
Shinin’ in the light of Your glory
Pour out Your power and love
As we sing holy, holy, holy

Holy, holy, holy
We cry holy, holy, holy
You are holy, holy, holy
I want to see you

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2 thoughts on “YOU ARE THE MAN

  1. This is a wonderful post and I love the song at the end. Lord cleanse us from secret faults… even beyond sexual immorality and help us take up our duty posts in all arenas of life… that we may bring You glory in all we do. In Jesus name. Amen

    Liked by 1 person

    • Tracey, Thank you. Glory to God. Regarding secret sins, the Lord will cleanse if the one sinning will tell the truth and repent of his or her sin. Yes, may we bring glory to God in all that we do. Amen.


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