One-Sided Relationships

Video Talk

Ephesians 4:32 NIV

“Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.”

In this video talk I make reference to a song sung by Whitney Houston. The song is titled, “I Have Nothing.” It is considered a romantic or a love song of sorts, but this is the first stanza:

“Share my life, take me for what I am
‘Cause I’ll never change all my colors for you
Take my love, I’ll never ask for too much
Just all that you are and everything that you do”

Now that is a description of a one-sided relationship. It basically says to the other person that I want everything from you but you have to take me just as I am because I will never change who I am for you. Ouch! And although many people will not express this in words, though some will, this is the approach that many people are taking to marriage and to their marriage to Jesus Christ.

They are just looking for what that other person can do for them, for how that other person can meet their desires, even if they are twisted and perverted desires. It is all about them and what their flesh craves but without consideration for how what they do might impact the other person. Some people may even feel as though what they do is none of their spouse’s business, for although they are married, they still want the single life.

And many people who profess faith in Jesus Christ are taking that same approach to their relationships with Jesus Christ. They want whatever God has to offer them in the way of forgiveness and eternal life and all the blessings of God, but they are telling the Lord that he has to take them just as they are and that they have no intentions of changing. I have heard many of them verbalize to me that they believe they don’t have to do anything, that they don’t have to repent of their sins nor obey the Lord Jesus.

Now, if you are a true believer in Jesus Christ you should never make compromises of your faith and of morality and of holiness and righteousness in order to be in a relationship with another human. You should never agree to sin just to make another person happy. So this is definitely not saying that we should compromise in any way on our Christian faith and practice, and especially we should not agree to sin to change for another person. The changes we make need to be in the confines of our Christian faith.

But the whole point here is that if we are being kind and compassionate and loving toward other people we are not going to sin against them deliberately, and we will not deliberately and habitually do what we know is wrong and what is hurting them, for there is no kindness or compassion in such behaviors as that. It is meanness, and therefore it is hate, not love.

And the same applies to our relationships with Christ. If we deliberately and habitually sin against him, that is not love but it is hate. And if we go into our relationships with Christ with this attitude that God does it all and we do nothing, that is unbiblical, it is a lie, and it is unloving and unkind. For Jesus requires that we deny self, that we die daily to sin and to self, and that we follow him in obedience if we want to be in relationship with him, and if we want salvation from sin and eternal life with God (Luke 9:23-26).

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