Psalms 139:13-16 ESV
“For you formed my inward parts;
you knitted me together in my mother’s womb.
I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.
Wonderful are your works;
my soul knows it very well.
My frame was not hidden from you,
when I was being made in secret,
intricately woven in the depths of the earth.
Your eyes saw my unformed substance;
in your book were written, every one of them,
the days that were formed for me,
when as yet there was none of them.”
The reason that this passage of Scripture is so special to me has to do with what this is talking about. For by the Lord knitting me together in the womb of my mother that meant a childhood of severe abuse at the hand of my father and emotional neglect coming from my mother, although she was a good mother in many other respects. And so for me to accept that I was fearfully and wonderfully made, and that God’s works were wonderful, I had to come to that place of fully accepting the sovereignty of God over my life.
And it wasn’t that I was rejecting the sovereignty of God over my life. I just had a lot of misconceptions about God and his sovereignty because of how I was brought up as a child. And I had to work those through, by the grace of God. For I had this concept, not consciously, but unconsciously, that God was limited and that, although he could comfort me in my abuse, he really didn’t have the power to deliver me from the abuse. Otherwise I had to accept that he had the power and he chose not to, and that was hard.
But what I finally came to realize is that God allows evil to exist, and he allows evil people to do evil things, even to good people, and to the innocent. He doesn’t cause it to happen, but he allows evil people to do evil because he gives us free wills to choose him or not. And he allows us to go through hardships and trials and tribulations, because through these experiences he is molding us to his likeness, and he is making us into the people he wants us to be to be used for his glory and purposes.
And so, looking back on my life, I can see his hand on my life in preparing me for this calling that he placed on my life 18 years ago. He took me through the things he took me through to make me strong. And I have this little note thing on my internet home page that says, “Someone called me an ‘unbending rock,’ and I took it as a compliment.” Well, all these years of hardship and difficulties the Lord had for me to go through were all in preparation to make me into that “unbending rock” when it relates to the gospel of our salvation and the saving of human lives, for the glory of God.
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Never Will I Leave You
An Original Work / May 11, 2011
God has said, “Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you” (Heb. 13:5).
“Never will I leave you, nor will I forsake you.”
Jesus is your Savior; love and comfort keep you.
He is your deliverer; Rock of your salvation;
Cornerstone, rejected by men; mighty God is He!
Hope of your salvation; He is your Redeemer.
He is living in you as your Lord and Master.
He will not forget you, nor will He neglect you.
He knows all about you; He will supply all you need.
God of your redemption’s perfect plan to save you
Sacrificed for your sin, so you’d be forgiven.
He loves and adores you; perfectly He made you
So that you might be His servant and child of the King.