I know of this woman and her story. She married for love, but as the years passed by, she became sadly aware that her husband was addicted to sexual immorality and idolatry and adultery, and that this had been going on while they were dating and continued after they got married, and never stopped. Eventually the pain and the burden of it all led her to reach out for help.

In her husband’s presence, she reached out to the pastor of a church, and he listened, but he said that he and the elders didn’t know what to do, so they just recommended that her husband seek Christian counseling. So he did, but that failed miserably. And the pastor and the elders did nothing to help the woman. Then in her husband’s presence, again, she sought the help of a former pastor, and when she began to tell him her story, he stopped her, and he would not let her speak without her husband’s permission to tell him of her concerns and her need (cry) for help. He did nothing!

Years later she shared how she had been let down by these pastors, and how they would do nothing to try to get her husband to stop his addiction and to become a loving husband who is faithful to his wife. And the pastor of that church called her on the phone and spoke with both her and her husband, but her husband lied to the pastor, and the pastor would do nothing to correct the husband’s behaviors. Instead, he attacked the woman, treating her as though it was her fault that her husband was unfaithful and an adulterer and a liar and an addict to sexual sin. He did nothing!

Recently, when I was looking at YouTube, there was this video that came up, and it was by a Christian based sexual addiction recovery group, and it was a Q&A with a panel of wives whose husbands had been addicts to sexual sin, and someone was reading them questions which were sent in by women whose husbands were addicts to sexual sin (adultery/idolatry), and the panel of women were attempting to answer these women’s questions. But what stood out to me about this is how they were recommending that the women and their husbands seek godly counsel in order to restore their marriages.

And as I listened to this, immediately what came to mind was this woman’s story of how she attempted to seek godly counsel only to be treated badly by the “men of God” who were supposed to care about her and her husband enough to do what needed to be done, biblically speaking, to rescue her husband from his addiction and to show her mercy, compassion, kindness and love, and to support her in her cry for help. And it grieved me!

Then the Lord reminded me of the story in the Bible of a woman who had been someone who had a reputation for a sinful lifestyle. But she heard that Jesus was reclining at the table of a Pharisee, in his house. So she came to the Pharisee’s house, and she brought with her an alabaster vial of perfume. And standing behind Jesus, at his feet weeping, she began to wet his feet with her tears, and kept wiping them with the hair of her head, and she was kissing his feet and anointing them with the perfume. But the Pharisee treated the woman with contempt, for he looked down on her.

And Jesus answered him, “Simon, I have something to say to you.” And he replied, “Say it, Teacher.” “A moneylender had two debtors: one owed five hundred denarii, and the other fifty. When they were unable to repay, he graciously forgave them both. So which of them will love him more?” Simon answered and said, “I suppose the one whom he forgave more.” And He said to him, “You have judged correctly.” Turning toward the woman, He said to Simon, “Do you see this woman? I entered your house; you gave Me no water for My feet, but she has wet My feet with her tears and wiped them with her hair. You gave Me no kiss; but she, since the time I came in, has not ceased to kiss My feet. You did not anoint My head with oil, but she anointed My feet with perfume. For this reason I say to you, her sins, which are many, have been forgiven, for she loved much; but he who is forgiven little, loves little.” Then He said to her, “Your sins have been forgiven.” Those who were reclining at the table with Him began to say to themselves, “Who is this man who even forgives sins?” And He said to the woman, “Your faith has saved you; go in peace.” (Luke 7:40-50 NASB1995)

Now, I know this is not an exact parallel, but I believe the Lord is showing me here that the woman in the story that I shared parallels over to the woman at the Pharisee’s house. Yes, she was a sinner, but she humbled herself before the Lord, I believe in sorrow over her sin, and she worshipped the Lord and she ministered to him only to be treated badly by the Pharisee, and to be looked down upon as though she was not worth Jesus’ time. And the 3 pastors in the woman’s story parallel over to this Pharisee who treated the woman with disdain and who had no compassion for her whatsoever.

And what I find interesting about these two stories is how in the woman’s story she was rejected, cast aside, and treated with disdain by three pastors, who were supposed to be men of God, like the Pharisee was supposed to be, too, who she sought for help. And in the Luke passage this Pharisee failed three times to do for the Lord what should have been done, but he did not do, but that the woman who he disdained did do for the Lord. And so the Lord honored the woman who did the right thing, like the woman in this story who sought the help of 3 pastors to free her husband from his sexual addiction. She did what they should have done, but did not do.

So Jesus forgave her of her past sins because she loved much, and because she continued to love much even when reviled by pastors who treated her like dirt under their feet for them to step on, and who did nothing to lift a finger to help her and to get her husband to stop sinning against her. God honors the woman in this story for doing the right thing for her husband, which she did out of love for her husband and out of love for the Lord, in obedience to him. She loved her husband enough to die to see him be free!

Oh, to Be Like Thee, Blessed Redeemer

Lyrics by Thomas O. Chisholm, 1897
Music by W. J. Kirkpatrick, 1897

Oh, to be like Thee! blessèd Redeemer,
This is my constant longing and prayer;
Gladly I’ll forfeit all of earth’s treasures,
Jesus, Thy perfect likeness to wear.

Oh, to be like Thee! full of compassion,
Loving, forgiving, tender and kind,
Helping the helpless, cheering the fainting,
Seeking the wandering sinner to find.

O to be like Thee! lowly in spirit,
Holy and harmless, patient and brave;
Meekly enduring cruel reproaches,
Willing to suffer others to save.

O to be like Thee! while I am pleading,
Pour out Thy Spirit, fill with Thy love;
Make me a temple meet for Thy dwelling,
Fit me for life and Heaven above.

Oh, to be like Thee! Oh, to be like Thee,
Blessèd Redeemer, pure as Thou art;
Come in Thy sweetness, come in Thy fullness;
Stamp Thine own image deep on my heart.

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A Woman’s Story
An Original Work / July 5, 2025
Christ’s Free Servant, Sue J Love